Social Media is full of inspirational messages. You know what I’m talking about. Those neat little quote pictures that show up in our newsfeeds on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, & Instragram. Life is about change. Believe in you and watch the magic happen. There are seven days in the week, Someday isn’t one of them. I made one up just this morning for my Musings from the Front Porch page. Even a small acorn is important to a hungry squirrel. The thing is, sometimes, as inspiring as those messages are, I don’t want to see them.
Some days, those messages just aren’t for me. I don’t want to be reminded that life is about change and I’m expected to just deal with that reality. Or that nothing is ever going to happen if I put it off to someday. Sometimes, I just want to be reminded I’m okay just the way I am and that I don’t need to be perfect or superwoman, always acting, always doing, always WINNING in order to be a winner.
In fact, who said I needed to win every race to be happy? Isn’t it enough that I’m in this race called life to begin with? And who said it was a race anyway? Something that had to be won? Not God. Not any doctor or psychologist concerned with balanced and healthy living. I think somewhere along the way we lost the point that inspiring one another does not always mean driving each other to greater depths of daring or constantly higher concept living.
No, I don’t want to live my waning years in regrets, but how do we define regrets and whose are they anyway? Mine, or the medias? Will I see every dream I’ve dreamt a reality in my life? Maybe not. Probably not. Tom’s pretty happy I didn’t end up married to Lee Horsely. LOL I’m actually very glad I didn’t go into politics like I planned to all through high school and university. Especially as I see the terrible lack of cooperation our national parties show in Congress and the Senate. I’m by no means a political pacifist, but that’s one dream I’m relieve I gave up early and stand by my reasons for doing so seeing as how every single one came to pass.
The reason I made the meme above is that I’ve been struggling with my own sense of identity and other waning dreams. What does it mean that my single title books are selling so poorly? Am I meant to continue writing them? Part of getting better has been connecting with my readers, the people I started writing for the in the first place. The readers whose hearts I needed to touch, those people who would read my books and get something out of them they needed just like I would get something I needed out of writing those stories down. That connection doesn’t come with a best sellers list. It doesn’t come with a particular brand of recognition, or pay scale, but it fulfills my deepest goal for writing: to touch readers’ hearts. And you all let me touch yours. That’s a gift to me that simply cannot be measured.
Thank you to every reader who has taken the time to comment on my survey, post to my social pages, or email me. I’ve tried to reply to all of you personally (except the survey), but if I’ve missed one, don’t think your message wasn’t important. Because it was. Very, very important. Your messages to me that my books touched your hearts, that’s what helped refill my well and that’s one of the biggest reasons I’m writing again. My heart is full of gratitude and joy right now. Not because I’ve reached some career goal, or hit a list or gotten recognition I thought I always wanted, but because I was able to start talking to my characters again and telling their stories. Because I knew you wanted to hear them and you all were so kind about being patient for when that might happen again. You really can’t know what that means to me when I see other authors harangued by their readers for being late with books. I just feel so blessed, so loved and gifted with the very best readers ever.
Being able to write again is so tremendous. It’s my little acorn for the hungry squirrels in my life and I’m so, so, so grateful for every single one of you!