Lucy Monroe and family visit Kiwiland - 2005
by Tom (Lucy's hubby...and a traveling satirist...)

Well, we've done quite a bit of traveling, but it was time to visit somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere. Since the Ross Research Station in Antarctica doesn't offer continental breakfast, we decided to visit New Zealand and Australia to attend some fantastic Romance Writer Conferences and see the sights. So join us now as the Monroe family visits the land of Kiwis and...Kiwis... 

Flight was great...and long, including a full day layover in LAX, home of concrete and Sushi Boy...
Some poor child cried during the 12.5 hour leg from LAX to Auckland every time the intercom came on. So messages sound like "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking, WAAAAAAAAUHHHHHHHHG!!!!....Thank you very much."

Auckland Int'l Airport services a city much the size of Portland, Or...and has a whopping 3 rental car agencies on site.  All of which were out of cars (except for one priced at $1000/week)...hmmm... Then Ian and Hazel at the Service Desk pointed us to Rent a Dent, for only $500NZ a week for the same size car! Thank you guys! 

Lefthand driving is not new to me, just like falling off a bicycle. Not as scary as driving in London, the roads are bigger. But did a couple faux pas...like driving on the wrong side, spinning in roundabouts a few times. Nothing major. For some reason, you feel safer with a car that's been pre-wrecked. The road signs are designed to be viewable from cross streets only. This means that you'll always know where you're not. But it's OK, since all knowledge of streets here is passed on through fables and parables. By the time you're old enough to drive, you already know all the streets and where they are, no need for maps or signs. Which is why I was doomed from the start. We started off going to a park "domain" a km or two away, and ended up at the Orewa coast...which was fantastic. That's what adventures are about...not knowing where you are, and not caring anymore.

Mt. Wellington is one of dozens of volcanic calderas around, great walk, steep drive. The Maori (proud native warriors that greet you by wiping noses with you) used to have mighty fortresses there before being beat out by the northern islanders that had larger and heavier clubs. These tribes have wonderful Paui polished shell and wood handcrafts, and celebrate with song, story and procreation, as is seen by most of their impressive and excited statuary, which is a lot of wood...handcraft. I also picked up a wonderful "Instant Maori" language book with has common phrases spelled out in their most-used fashion, such as "Is this your first time?" "Do you have protection?", and "I'm pregnant". I decided to not practice my Maori this trip. I did learn the phrase Kor Ai. That symbolizes growth or new beginning, and means in Maori "Welcome" or "How are you?", or "I have no idea what you're talking about" or "Have you gained weight?"

So getting back to the calderas, most of them (called "domains") around Auckland have a similar history, except One Tree Hill. One Tree Hill is unique in that of all things, it does not have a tree on it. It used to, and it proudly represented Auckland's history for decades. Then a bunch of well-meaning people determined that the tree was not a native of New Zealand, and in the spirit of peace, tried to cut it down naturally with gas-powered chainsaws. They were arrested, but the damage was done. The tree died and it was removed, to be replaced by it's native equivalent: nothing. So One Tree Hill is really, as my friend Peter (the other half of Barbara's Books...a super romance friendly and supportive bookstore in Auckland) said, "None Tree Hill".

The Waipuna hotel was fantastic. We had wonderful views of the lagoon and a nice restaurant next to the water. The elevator greets you with lurches and screeches of delight (or it may need maintenance). The pools were outdoor, but we wanted the hot tub only, anyway. For security reasons, one, some, or all of our room cards would quit working, and we'd have to have them reenergized at the front desk daily. The hotel also offers wireless, you just can't use it...well we *did* manage it...after speaking to no less than NINE customer service and tech support people.  It's always fun to be in on the advent of a new technology.

Lest you think we went for sight seeing only - remember, Lucy was there to speak at the Romance Writers of New Zealand conference and to connect up with some of her online friends.  She really enjoyed the special get togethers with the other conference attendees, the lunches where she got to chat with people she didn't know and dinner out with her UK editor, Kim Young.

She had a pretty special time, connecting so well with the other writers and her editor that it took a bit of persuasion to get her on the plane Monday morning.  She was most impressed with the generosity the members showed one another, particularly Barbara Clendon's (of the Clendon Award fame and aforementioned Barbara's Books) amazing donation of hundreds of books as prize giveaways.  If you could see the prices of books in New Zealand, you'd know just how incredible that is.  One of Lucy's books that goes for 7.99 in the States, sold for 22.95 in NZ dollars.  Trust me, the exchange rate is not *that* significant!

But move on we did...and for a trip report on our journey the following week into Australia, click here.

Plus, for Lucy's impressions of NZ &Aus, visit her blog.